My oldest is on the spectrum, my youngest is typical.
The other day, the school approached me to suggest possibly having my youngest evaluated, he was in Early Intervention because torticollis delayed walking and other gross skills - and also as a preventative BECAUSE his sister is on the spectrum. He was exited out of the program because he is neurotypical. This happens. Especially when one is on the spectrum. They mimic the other child’s behavior because that is what they see at home. My daughter is actually quite mild - we go thru phases where it appears more obvious, but for the most part, doctors tend to ask me if I’m sure she’s ASD. Trust me, there’s no doubt - especially when i see her next to my son. Some days it is hard, i don’t want my son picking up on the more challenging behaviors she prevents with, on the other hand, my daughter sometimes is much easier than my son. My son likes to instigate jackass style days in my house, and my daughter will go along with him unless i tell her no - then she tends to listen a bit. The crazy thing about autism is how crazy good they can climb. I didn’t know this was a thing - but apparently it is. She is ridiculously good at jumping, climbing, and she’s super fast.
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Ok.. it has been a few years. Here is my best attempt at a shortened recap: 2020I finally posted the part that was sitting in drafts since April 2020. So, like for everyone else, 2020 was a weird year. I had PPD and PPA, which complicated things further. Which btw, apparently, this is SUPER common in moms who struggled with infertility - why? Who knows. But it is, and it should probably be talked about more, my guess is that the stupid drugs were on that alter our hormones have a hand in it. Obviously, like everyone else, at the start of COVID were we’re scared because we didn’t know anything other than people were dropping like flies. Having just had a newborn after going thru hell to get her, we were super cautious and basically lived separate lives until we knew more. At some point, I had a horrible health scare that ended up being my first ever aura migraine and the ER wanted to give me a spinal tap (prior to knowing I had an aura migraine, this was bc they had no idea what was up) as part of a diagnostic work up and I said thanks but no thanks and left. So, one day I was making lunch for me and my daughter and all of a sudden I started seeing like weird shapes and lines. I was on FaceTime with my mom and was like you know, my balance feels super off and then I went completely numb on my right side and my vision went nonexistent on the one side and my depth perception was just not at all accurate. This was followed by the absolute WORST headache of my life. Of course the concern is stroke, so after my husband gets home from work, I go to the er and they want to do a spinal. I call my mom when I get back and between my husband, my mom and myself, we decide it best to go back to the East coast to see doctors there. - my absolutely amazing neurologist diagnoses me within like 10 minutes of talking. (trigger warning, unplanned pregnancy) In November of 2020 - right after my daughter’s first birthday, I find out I’m pregnant with my son. Yup. I was shocked too. 5 years, 5 rounds of IVF… and the first time we’re intimate after having my daughter, pregnant. LIKE WHAT?! Back in Texas, I go to see my obgyn who is like see told ya you’d get pregnant naturally. 🙄 Additionally, my daughter got her 1 year shots and went backwards in development. I told them ONLY mmr, I wanted to hold off on hep an and completely declined the chicken pox shot - the nurse gave her ALL three at one time completely against my consent. I used to think the anti-vaxxers were insane, until I saw this happen with my own eyes. Night and day in pictures and videos. I’ll be revisiting this. Spoiler alert: she now has autism. 20212021 is kind of a blur. We had in INSANE freeze in Texas. And honestly, had we not being on the east coast for my daughters birthday… she wouldn’t have had any real winter clothes or a coat. So it really worked out. My son was born at 38 weeks via a repeat c section in July. Recovery was hell. My doctor cut out a lot of scar tissue. BUT unlike last time, hubby had parental leave, so he was home and a HUGE help. I opted not to breastfeed this go, and it really worked out for so many reasons. One of the biggest: my son had HORRIBLE reflux and ended up needing highly specialized formula AND medication. My son also had torticollis. As we’re approaching my daughter’s 2nd birthday, she is still ultimately nonverbal, so we decide to go back home so she can be with friends and family that have kids her age. Despite Texas being without Covid restrictions, people are still terrified of it. So we felt the interaction was so important. My bestie. My baby before my babies - my beautiful liver sable German Shepherd Sheena is diagnosed with hemangiosarcoma and dies within 3 weeks. This was absolute hell. I miss her every single day. She was my ride or die bestie. 10 years old - but a very young active 10 year old who loved to run, hike, and veg out with you. She passed away the night before we left to NJ. This was a shock. 💔🐾💔 In NJ, my son sees a PT who ultimately fixes his torticollis - btw the lady in Texas was treating it all wrong - which I knew thanks to this lovely lady on IG from Dallas! I’m sharing her link bc her page is a life saver for so many reasons. https://instagram.com/kinactive_kids?igshid=MzRlODBiNWFlZA== OK, moving on. My daughter goes into EI in NJ for the time being. 2022Man, we’re still in NJ. My son will not be released until crawling. But it’s ok. We know it’s for the best. 2022 was another year of huh? it’s 2023 already? What happened in 2022??? Getting ready to leave back to Texas, my mom breaks her arm. Diabetes is out of control… so I stay to help. Then, my daughter is diagnosed with autism. She starts therapy. We start seeing big improvements. Plan to leave again. OH snap it’s 2023.. 2023Well.. This year is meh. I’m still in NJ with my kids. Feb: Mom’s arm gets repaired. Success! March: Father in law passes away. June-Sept: yes.. it took this freaking long My father is diagnosed with cancer - stage 4 esophageal. But prognosis is not bad bc surgery is an option. My daughter is doing good. Verbal. I meant huge improvement. So much growth. And here we are in Oct. almost Nov. So….All this to say: I am parenting both a neurodivergent kid and neurotypical kid. It def has challenges. I promise to be candid - like I always have thru my treatments. This page will focus on both. It’s funny. In some ways parenting autism is easier, and in other ways parenting “normal” is. Thank you!Welcome! And thank you.
🫶 So this is a very very very long overdue update. It has been such a whirlwind the last few months - and they went by in the blink of an eye. I'm going to make these quick. Newborn StageSo, the newborn stage was very hard for me. I struggled with PPD and PPA, and I really lost out on a lot of time with my baby, because I was pretty much nursing, then pumping around the clock - the stupid LC's (lactation consultants) had me do what is known as "triple feeding" for weeks on end - something that is only usually recommended for short timeframes. I did this for 3 months, then switched to only pumping, then stopped at 4.5 months. BEST DECISION EVER. I really got to enjoy my daughter so much more and got some me time back. My daughter was jaundiced for a few weeks post birth, so really it was such a heavy emphasis on pooping for her to poop it out. BreastfeedingThere's a lot I wish I knew then that I know now.
For starters - don't ever fall for the lactvist bullshit (I will revisit this shortly). It will eventually break you down if breastfeeding is not easy for you and your baby. My daughter had issues transferring milk effectively which led to painful clogs and calcified ducts - I didn't know this esp b/c her weight gain was good. However, feeds took FOREVER - we are talking an hour to f'ing nurse. Do you know how long newborns are up for? You guessed it - about an hour. So all my daughter did was eat and sleep. There was no activity time for her. I had an oversupply due to the stupid triple feeding they had me doing. Oversupplies suck and I took two rounds of cabergoline to stop my milk production because NOTHING else worked - not even weaning. Ok so here is some of the lactivist bullshit you will come across:
I was receiving so much pressure to cut up my daughter's tongue tie and lip tie - that were mild - to truly only benefit breastfeeding. I couldn't bring myself to do it. Breastfeeding was by far the biggest driver in my PPD and PPA. |
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