You know, the letrazole has made me have such a short fuse, that I'm really happy I am not direct teaching this week. I've been so full of rage, it's just a matter of what makes me snap.
There really isn't much to report. I go in on Thursday to check, hopefully the follicles are on the left side, maybe we'll make it for transfer, who knows. I still am not sure what kind of cycle this will end up being, I just hope it's successful. I also have removed myself from the support group for my doctor's clinic because of how incredibly stupid and lazy the bulk of the new members are. I really only kept it to see if he'd be in when we were planning to go, since he'll be there for procedures as he's the only Doctor. But after yesterday, I've decided it isn't worth the agitation to keep up in there. That's all really. I haven't been running because I hurt my knee a week ago, so I've been sticking to weights and Denise Austin's Blast Away 10 lbs. I've been sticking to the feeding time, and I've noticed my clothes fitting a little better. So hopefully we have successfully lost some weight.
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AF arrived yesterday evening, I texted my doctor to let him know that I'll start my letrazole today and he texts me back saying he may be out of town and we might not be able to transfer this cycle. So I need to text him back in a few hours.
I'm hoping that if we can't transfer, we can at least inseminate so we can hopefully get the swimmers past the cervix for sure and give them a better chance. This period sucks. My cramps are terrible this morning, I just want to cry, and I must definitely do not want to work today because of how bad they are. Until I got answers. ✌️ UPDATE: So, it is either going to be a transfer or an iui of the follicles grow on the correct side. I go into the doc in a few days for a check. Well, I've been spotting for a couple days now. I'm waiting on AF, but not really overly sure of when her arrival will be sadly.
There's so much craziness going on the first couple weeks of March, so I'm hoping the witch holds off until Saturday. Well, that's it for now. Unless I had an anovulatory cycle and the spotting is my AF... ugh, I just keep over thinking it all FML. Yep, two years ago today we had our first egg retrieval.. It's been a ridiculously long journey. I don't know anyone else who has done ivf for two years. It's extremely tedious. I am hoping to have a positive outcome next cycle. Time will tell of course.
I've been checking for ovulation since CD 10, and CD 10, it looked just under positive. Well, it never went full blown positive. So idk what happened, but like I'm starting to assume I ovulated on day 10. Major ugh. I'm annoyed because now, my potential transfer can fall at a really inopportune time. It's legit a repeat of freaking December's IVF #5...
There's nothing I can do about it. I think that's the frustrating part. I'm sorta hopeful, but likely more so because we may actually have a shot at naturally conceiving during this. But we'll see. Time can tell. Who knows what's been preventing conception all this time. I'm hoping it's just fucked up tubes and not me. Just sucks we can't do fresh IVF until after school ends, one of my major selling points of leaving. It feels like a ticking bomb. Today, I go to see my RE and go over all my paperwork from my surgery and set up a plan of action with him. Or at least have him agree to one.
In an ideal world, this would be my plan:
UPDATE: So my doctor would prefer we do ivf only. His concern is chance of tubal pregnancy, since my one tube has already been blocked. I want to just clarify that is isn't because he can make more off of us; at this moment we are only paying fees to the embryologist and anesthesiologist. He also wants to do the FET next cycle because the polypectomy acts as a scratch, and he wants to take advantage of it. I already have my meds so I don't need to worry about going in on CD 2 (don't want to miss since work is so understanding 🙄), and I need to go back on CD 10. I am excited and somewhat hopeful. I don't plan to bed rest the way I have in the past, and if it fails, I am going to really focus on losing weight. My goal is 120 lbs or less by next full IVF cycle. As of now, I have been pretty adherent to my diet, and my IF (intermittent fasting). I hope to lose about 10-15 lbs by the time we get to transfer which will put me at 130-135 lbs. I'm still kind of hurting from surgery, so I'm exercising at a much lower weight and intensity than normal. But I definitely feel worlds better exercising. I've decided to start focusing on my health again, that journey will be found here: click me!!
That's all for now. OK, I'm going to put this into bullet points. But overall, all pathology is clear. 🙌
My gut is telling me to try the iui. Like I can't shake that feeling. AF lasted like a day and super super super light. Like if I didn't know it was due I'd be confused.
Aside from that, I'm counting down till Tuesday when I go for my post op, my one incision still hurts a lot, but other others are just itchy. Then I'll count down till Saturday when I can see my RE. I've had a lot of time to think, which is good and bad. It's finally sunk in that I have 1 tube which ultimately means that trying naturally can be tricky. So in reality, most cycles will likely involve doctor's visits to see if I'm ovulating from the tube side. I'm just so frustrated, I really want to just finally have success. I am hopeful for the next transfer, but I also know it can take 2-3 rounds to have success. In some way, I'm essentially starting over with being cleared out. So it's like a literal clean slate. So I just hope within one to 3 transfers yields success. I'll update when I see my Obgyn and get those results. |
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November 2019
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