I totally forgot to check for the trigger this morning. I'll check tomorrow.
I'm actually happy to have these two cycles off (even tho this didn't start as an off one). I'm able to really exercise, I'm able to push myself, I'm able to enjoy wine, I'm able to enjoy whatever food I want. You need this during treatment, as much as you resist and don't want it, you need it. AF should be here on Monday, at least I won't have her during spring break. That would suck to be all yucky and crampy during time off, that happened during Thanksgiving break, it was horrible to be so uncomfortable on time off. In any event, I may slip off the radar from blogging since it'll be a month off, with the exception of the check up my doc does (still not sure what it is exactly). I may post on my due date, who knows. I'm just hoping I can survive that day.
0 Comments
The trigger is still in my system. It's been about 8 days. I guess it really can stay for about 10. My first ivf cycle, it lasted like maybe 3? My second I got pregnant, but it was still there at transfer. My third cycle out stayed for a long time as well. I do think it does help the body recognize the embryo as friend.
We adopted DH's work dog yesterday, it has been an epic fail. He's a great dog, he's very lovable, a ham, etc. However, he hates my one dog. And I mean hates with a heated passion. The other handler (who had him after DH) had a similar issue with his one dog not getting along with him. But this is bad. Every time my one dog goes near his crate he growls or snaps at her. They had a bad first impression, so I think that's a big part of it. My dog snapped at him and then was past it, but he wasn't. And he's holding a grudge. It's looking like we might need to rehome him with someone DH works with 😔. I think it's best we didn't transfer this cycle. It was too stressful last night having two dogs not get along. My dog is trying so so so so so hard to get him to like her. After the smoke clears, you can definitely think more clearly.
Yes, yesterday I was a bit disappointed; however, now, I realize that it really is better to cancel the cycle than lose the embryos - especially ones that seem promising. I'm really not clear on what he's checking for next cycle, but hopefully it'll give us some answers. The kinda cool thing about cycling in April is that I could potentially find out we're pregnant on my birthday - which would be a dream come true. I think what I'm upset about the most is the fact that we're hitting the due date and have no pregnancy. I think it would've softened the blow a bit. I also, a while back, brought a onsie that says for this child we have prayed. Now I ordered short sleeve because where we live it's summer pretty much all year; however, they sent me a long sleeve one. Soon as I saw that I was like maybe this is my sign that we're having a winter baby (we have like 2/3 cold months). I really really really hope this is the case. Conceiving in March, April, or May would actually give us a winter baby. In any event, if I get quiet on the blog, sorry, but there isn't really much to report. Transfer cancelled.
I have fluid in my uterus. I have to do a natural cycle, go in about 3 days post O and try again the next cycle. So looking at an April transfer. I was actually really looking forward to today; however, after exercising yesterday morning I had some very very very light spotting that was followed by cramping most of the day. I texted my doctor at the suggestion of my mom; the doc said he wants to check everything before transfer to make sure it's ok. I asked him if it could be cancelled, he said yes.
I know it is for the best interest of the embryos to not transfer if there is any issue; but man, it sucks knowing your cycle could be cancelled. I never thought that would happen. Now we're leaving to the doctor super early so we can know sooner rather than later if there will be an actual transfer today. Tomorrow is transfer day. Finally.
I'm a little excited about this cycle because I want to see if this protocol is better for me. Like I feel better, but I want to know if this way of doing FET yields better results. I've been thinking that even if this works, when we do go to try for a sibling, I think I want to PGS from the get go, and knowing an FET protocol actually works for me, makes me feel at ease about it. If this was a standard FET with the estradiol and PIO, I'd honestly have no hope or faith in it working. Those estradiol pills really mess with my system bad. It causes my IBS to flare up, causes severe migraines and severe bloating/weight gain etc etc etc, not to mention it makes my cervix borderline impenetrable. That all being said, I'm hoping both embies make the thaw and continue to develop and implant. What's kinda neat, is I technically have 3 embryos currently: two in the freezer at the doc, one hopefully forming in my body. I'm really hoping that by the time they go to implant them, the second embryo is hatching. It would be kind of cool if the hatching one continues to completely hatch. I've never had this before, and I'm really excited and hopeful about it being successful. I just need them to thaw and my cervix to cooperate. 🤞🙏🤞🙏🤞🙏🤞🙏 I have 3 days until transfer. I'm so looking forward to resting after.
In any event, DH and I got to get away for a couple days this weekend and it was truly just such a much needed break from everything. We went on a long hike, hit up a couple vineyards, and just really got to relax. If I could do it all again right this minute, I would. So not looking forward to going back to work today. I'm already counting down to spring break - which is extremely bitter sweet for me; on one hand, I get a very much needed break, on the other, it's my due date from my first mc. I've decided to eat really clean these next few days to cut down on inflammation. Got my pineapple and some oranges last night. Plan to have salmon for lunch today, etc, etc, etc. Praying both embryos make the thaw and become THB :) I go into the doc today. I'm not really sure what to expect since this is my first time doing an FET this way.
I'm noticing that I feel really numb to this cycle. Not sure if I just have a lot on my work plate and I'm distracted, or if I'm just trying to protect myself from being hurt again. Today marks one month till my due date. Idk if I can handle reaching that without being pregnant. I'm noticing lately that I am feeling more and more ready to give up. I'm not sure if I can keep doing this. If I didn't have a job, it would be easier - that I know. I think it's much harder to be doing this while working, at least as a teacher. I have one class this year that is terrible; every damn day I have to yell, and get agitated like a lunatic. I have never had this before, it sucks. It's not that I dislike the kids as individuals, it's just a mess of a class due to certain student groupings. I feel like sometimes it puts too much stress on my body, and the result is that my body cannot handle it. I miscarried twice this school year alone: 1, right before it started, 2, the second month of school. I just so badly want a child. I know our next step is PGD on the embryos; however, I wonder if I can bank them? I just hope we don't have to get to that step. I just want this step to frigging work. I feel like we deserve a THB already. I'm actually shocked that I didn't get pregnant again, I wasn't expecting to not get pregnant quickly after the two miscarriages; it's been about 5 months. I've had LIT and I'm on prednisone, I don't get it. My mom struggled 5/6 years to get pregnant, miscarried, got pregnant right away with me, miscarried, had my sister; I mean, once she did get pregnant it was quick. Why am I not having this luck? I don't get it. In any event, thanks for listening to my rant, I'll update post doc visit. UPDATE: I trigger today, start PIO tomorrow, and transfer Friday Lining was 9mm and I had one follicle measuring 20mm. 🤞🙏🤞🙏🤞🙏🤞🙏 Omg, letrazole migraines!! Holy moly!!
I've had a migraine every day on this medication. 2 more days. I started exercising again today, felt amazing! I'm also noticing some weight loss. Despite having not worked out for a few weeks, I was able to pick up where I left off weight load wise, it was really a great feeling. In any event, I quasi cheated on my diet over the last couple days. Had a bit of wine, some pizza. Tomorrow is a cleanse day, which I'm not looking forward to. But it'll be worth it in the end. In any event, I'll likely update when I get to my next appointment in a few days. Fingers crossed this all goes well. 🙏🙏🙏 🤞🤞🤞 Got the green light to start!! Yay!
I start letrazole today, then in a few days do merional every other day for 3 shots at 75iu. Next check is the 17th. |
AuthorWrite something about yourself. No need to be fancy, just an overview. Archives
November 2019
Categories |