I'm 13 days past my second IUI. I test in 3 days.
At times I feel hopeful. I have had a lot of cramping, not AF style cramps, just like a pulling sensation. Sometimes I feel like I did a ton of sit ups - which I haven't since insemination. I have been exercising, but modified. I feel that's helping balance some of my stress. The reality is, I just want to know already. Like I want to fast forward to Saturday and find out if it worked and what happens next. I have so many questions for the Doctor and I hope to have them answered. I hope the doc is in Saturday. I may stay off till I know anything. I'm still debating on whether or not I test the morning of, or just go in and find out. It is nice to know before going in, and it is nice to see the line, but it sucks no matter what when it fails.
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I'm 10 days past my second iui, so I'm either 10 or 11 dpo. I got 6 more days until I go in to test. I'm trying really hard not to test before hand, it's getting harder as the time goes on though.
In the grand scheme of things, I don't really feel much. Just a few bouts of cramping here and there. My boobs are tender, but that's really it. In some ways I remain hopeful, in others, I don't. I'm hopeful in knowing that fertilization isn't a problem, I'm not hopeful knowing that implantation is a major hurdle. BUT, having more than just my transfers being a shot right now does help me because I don't think implantation can fail 3 times in a row - I mean it could, but I'm skeptical and doubtful, and therefore hopeful, especially IF the cause is an aneuiploid (abnormal) embryo. No way in hell am I producing 6 bad embryos from different cycles by the time I get through the next transfer. My only fear would be a hardened zona pecula causing difficulty for the embryo to hatch on its own. All that being said, I'm preparing my questions for my doctor if this fails.
I'm 7 days past my second iui, although I felt positive a while ago, with the bullshit I'm dealing with with work, in starting to feel like it'll fail from stress. I'll know in 9 more days.
My last FET, I had 3 embryos, and none implanted. I blame work for that. I also blame work for my miscarriage and all the other failed cycles because of how much of a hard time they give me for needing time off for transfer and what not. Like I didn't fucking ask for this. It is a legitimate medical condition. I've decided if I need to go to retrieval again, I'm taking FMLA. And if I get pregnant, I'm going to beg my doctor to write me out of work at about 8 weeks for a few weeks. It's just way too damn stressful. Like I want to leave because legally they need to accommodate me, yet, they give me a ridiculously hard time when I need to be out, even though I plan thoroughly and accordingly. I cannot take this place anymore. Other than that, I had lot of cramping last night. It was horrible and intense and it wouldn't stop. I'm really hoping it was implantation, but again after the day I had yesterday, I don't know. I also have a stupid dinner I need to go to tonight for work and I don't want to go at all. I'm hoping it gets cancelled. I will need to leave early anyhow for medication. Whatever. I need to learn how to not care. I'm getting to the point that I want to leave one day and never walk back in, but I also don't want a lien on my certificate. I'm really starting to think stress is the biggest factor in all this. I plan to talk to my doctor about it when I go back in for pregnancy test and/or CD 2. Today I'm 6 days past my second iui, so I'm either 6/7 days past ovulation. I still have 10 days till my blood test; however, it's also at 16/17dpo and well, last time, AF still showed up at 17dpo while on prometrium. So I guess we'll see what happens. There really isn't much to report, I'm still exercising, but have been modifying it and dropped weights. I also have not been doing abdominal workouts, so I'm getting a flabby middle. I've been crazy busy at work, I am a little behind in my grading, which sucks, I'm hoping to catch up on it this weekend. I'm very much looking forward to the 3 day weekend. If I symptom spot, about 2 days ago, I noticed my boobs hurt a little bit. They do hurt more now. Not sure if it's prometrium related because it did start before I started taking it. I've also been crampy, especially after standing a while. I've been wanting salty stuff and any kind of Asian rice noodles. And that's it. I'm not testing early. I feel like I'm more afraid of a false positive because I had triggered, since we got a false one last month, and the month before. Also, it isn't a transfer cycle, so the stakes are lower. As much as I'm hopeful there's a chance, I'm also realistic in how high the chances are. Not only do we have to fertilize, it still has to implant. I'm not worried about the fertilization portion. I'm worried about the second half. Why? This is why: I know it's blurry, but if you look at the line at the top of the circle, those are the embryos they transferred last cycle. There's also a little similar looking thing just below it. I was 5dpo. I've gotten quite a few of these over the past year (my first year of ivf, they didn't do this, my guess a CYA thing). We did an iui last transfer to Prime the uterus. I really do believe, and with good proof/reason, fertilization took place. I also think the transfer screwed up the implantation process for that little guy. Or that my body just sucks since all three failed to implant. So I am a bit hopeful, but wouldn't bet the house on success.
Time will tell. 10 days time to be exact. |
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November 2019
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