I took tests this morning, all BFN. Just waiting on AF now.
This coming weekend I have another LIT followed by starting HGH the same day. I'm a bit nervous about how my body will react to HGH. My sister is a body builder and she's like you will have such petty muscles 😍... 🤦♀️. I'm like I'm not doing this to look good 😂😂😂, if that's a nice little by product, I'm ok with it. In reality, I do need to lose a bit more weight bc of all the ivf drugs, more so the FET ones. I actually ran 7.35 miles yesterday, I'm super excited because I haven't done that in years - seriously TTC just really took me out of the more intense exercise I used to do in fear of messing something up. I am hurting a bit today tho, but I still did it, and that is awesome. I think it's because I've been really building up muscle into my legs again, so I really don't get tired while running. I'll keep up the exercise until I have to start really modifying it about stim Day 2. But that's like over a month away. This whole journey just sucks. Had a couple more pregnancy announcements come out. I'm just not handling them well. Esp when the people didn't want kids, and oops they get to have one. I really thought we would've gotten pregnant again already. This sucks the big one. We looked into surrogacy - way too expensive; adoption - also expensive, but more so, you have to agree to adopt an older child while waiting for a younger one at many places. I'm sorry, but I want an infant or up to two years old, after that I'm not very comfortable. I'm really heartbroken over all of this. All we want is a child. We are open to embryo adoption, that is definitely much more cost effective and I like the idea of it, I really do. We're both more comfortable with that. We're also now open to donor eggs, but DH is concerned that it won't be mine biologically - and I reminded him, adoption isn't ours biologically. If we do end up with our own children and have a daughter, I will definitely encourage her to freeze her eggs while she is in her early 20s. This is the worse pain, hands down. Well, here's to paying for our miracle to come our way soon. 🙏🙏🙏🙏
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November 2019
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