Today should be my programmed ovulation. We BD'ed last night just in the off chance this could work. I noticed I was actually producing cm for a change, but could be the cough syrup. I am coughing horribly, who knows if any swimmers made it.
Speaking of coughing, I am now on a zpack and inhaler. It would appear I have bronchitis, and I'm really hoping that's all I have because I feel really really shitty. My nasal passages have mostly cleared, but I'm coughing up yellow phlegm. I have only a few short days to get better. Yesterday I started to worry that we're transferring a day too late. I considered talking to the doctor about it, but did ask one of my friends and she put me in the perspective of realizing that doctors care a lot about their success rates, and if he did think it would make a difference, he wouldn't do it that day. Plus, I do know that it's possible for the implantation window to be slightly off in some women, especially in cases of RIF (like around 20%). So who knows. I just want this to work already. I just hope that this isn't too late to transfer. The thing is, overall, I don't feel like we're going to keep going through this, which makes me hopeful, but I also feel like so numb and jaded towards the whole thing at this point. I do, to some degree, feel like we're getting our rainbow baby soon. Definitely by the end of next year, likely before fall. Perhaps by Sept/Oct latest, but likely before that. Maybe I needed to get my priorities right. I've truly started to put this before my work, and I've decided work isn't worth this on hold, or creating a balancing act. If this doesn't take, by the time we do the next retrieval, we'll both have been on herbs for a while and I believe these herbs helped in our "successful" cycle last year. I guess we'll just see how everything unfolds. I start progesterone tonight. Yay! 🙄
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November 2019
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