12dpo ; 11dpiui = BFN. Again. As always. I wanted to surprise DH today with a BFP. But of course that didn't happen. I've decided to not test until Wednesday morning which is 15 dpo, and when AF is due.
Yesterday I had a breakdown. I threw away all the baby stuff I brought, I packed away all religious articles, I ripped up prayer cards - I lost it. I don't get how in a year I haven't had one pregnancy. I really don't. And I feel so incredibly disheartened. Once I got my head on straight, I started looking forward. I decided it's probably best to ask the doctor to do another hysteroscopy to check for scar tissue from the DNC, and do a scratch while he's in there. So that's a month off. I also feel I should ask about low doses of injectables for the next FET attempt. When AF comes, we'll head out and ask these questions. We also thought about asking if he does sperm DNA fragmentation testing. I also thought to ask if I needed a higher dose of the prednisone. So there's a few things to talk about. I'm really annoyed, but I know this should be done. We also decided to start looking into, and starting, the process for adoption. It is a lengthy process that can take up to a year or two. We also decided on how to redo our kitchen and different paint colors. Not sure if I'll update before I go back. We'll see.
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November 2019
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