I really try not to do what I'm about to do, but I really need to just let it out.
Why? Why is it after every failed fertility treatment do all the pregnancy announcements literally fly out of the woodwork? Why do people feel it's acceptable to tell me on my birthday that they're pregnant - it is just a constant reminder that my body continues to fail me! And worse yet, that I've had another complete year of not achieving what I hope, dream, and long for. Yes, I'm happy for you, but I'm really sad for me. Then on top of that I get a positive Opk, I should be thrilled right? No, I'm not, bc I know even tho we'll BD, it will likely fail because my body loves to reject embryos - and that's if my cervix even allows any sperm to pass. I just can't deal today and I just want to leave work, lay in bed, and cry. It's been really hard for me. I've spent my entire morning in tears after the latest announcement from my cousin. I'm just going to start calling it the curse of my birthday. I hate today a little more than I did this time last year.
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November 2019
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