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That's pretty much me right now. Why? Let me tell you. My parents arrived Sunday, fine, cool, I didn't mind, I understand their excitement for their first grandchild. I thought it would be good having them here. Boy was I wrong. It has been nothing short of a living hell. So let me preface this with this: I'm very allergic to cats. Have been for years. In fact, my last true interaction with a cat put me with an epi pen. Add in the fact that since becoming pregnant, not only do I have NEW allergies, my older ones are on steroids. My parents took their dog and cat down in their RV, whatever. I get not wanting to leave the cat alone for a few weeks; despite my horrible allergies, I find leaving animals like that cruel. OK, now that that's established. My parents know I'm allergic to cats, they know my allergies have gotten horrible with pregnancy (despite taking zyrtec), and the fact I'm not supposed to take benedryl. So, Sunday night, I pick them up, I get a bit itchy in my car, but let it go. It wasn't that bad. Then after we eat, my mother decides to lay on my bed and on my pregnancy pillow. After they leave for the night, I notice that my eyes and extremely itchy, and are starting to swell; I put on gloves and remove anything she laid on. Time passes, reaction stops. Ok, awesome, they are carting cat dander with them. I figure I address it tomorrow. Meanwhile, the time my mother spent with me, was nothing shy of horrible. She criticized how I don't want to invite my neighbors (who I never met btw) over when I come home from the hospital, how I want to know if my sister did get the vaccines she made a huge stink about, about my basic ground rules for when baby comes home. You know, the really important shit:
So at this point, my blood is boiling and I've noticed a decreased in my baby's movements, but as soon as they left, she starts being mostly normal. Next day: My parents arrive, my mother goes to sit in my bed - which btw has no comforter on it and my pillow has no pillow case - I ask her to put a sheet down Bc I had a reaction to the cat dander last night. World War III erupts. She flips out, stomps off, screams at my dad we aren't staying because she can't handle cat dander. I'm like, I'm allergic and I can't take anything, why are you willing to put my body thru this?? You're mad at me for an allergy you knew about, and mad because I can't take anything - which again, you knew. I don't feel right at all. Again, I notice a decrease in baby's movements, and I feel really off, so I call the doctor and go in. My mother wants to go, I say no. My BP is thru the roof (and I'd had time to cool off), I start to explain and just break down sobbing. I don't cry. Like my friends used to joke I don't have tear ducts. They hook me up to the machine. My little girl is OK. BP goes back to normal, I go home. I get home and explain that they cannot stress me out like this because it isn't healthy for the baby. That lasts all of 5 minutes. Finally they leave, I feel relief. Next day (oh yes, it can get worse): My parents show up with their dog. I can't pet her due to cat dander (they play together and lay together). I say I feel bad. My dad starts in saying how we have dog dander because we have dogs. I'm like yes, you're right, we do; however, I'm not allergic to it. They get pissy and storm off to bring the dog back to the RV. Oh, but wait, there's more! Then my mother starts in about how she doesn't know why she bothered to come (at this point I wish they'd just leave), she doesn't feel wanted or needed. I ask her why. She says she doesn't know. However, I think it goes back to when I told her she will not be in the delivery room with me. Then she is like you only listen to what you read online about safe sleep, but I raised two kids and you're still alive. I'm like, well you did what you did based on the info available to you, and we are doing what we feel is best based on what's available to us. We now know that blankets, stuffed toys, and bumpers aren't safe. Not to mention the fact you can get arrested if your kid dies from that. Then cue the toddler temper tantrum. I had kids you don't, you don't know what you're talking about, the doctor's don't know anything, and neither do the police. I don't know why I bothered coming (for the love of God then please leave), etc etc etc etc. Finally, I say I'm the parent, it's my kid and what I say goes, it isn't up for discussion. If I want your help/advice, I will ask for it. Until I ask, please keep it to yourself. World War IV ensues. And there's more: You need to invite your neighbors over. Nope. Not happening. I've been advised not to. Well that's stupid, you need to invite them, etc etc etc etc. I'm like you're not respecting my choices, and it really has me wondering if I can trust you alone with my child. At this point, I don't think I can trust you to follow my expectations. World War V. So you're calling me a liar? I'm like you're literally attacking every single thing I say because my sister and I survived. I'm like if I text and drive and don't get into an accident, that doesn't mean it's safe. It just means I got lucky. Eventually, I leave my own house (yup, a woman in her 30s needs to leave her own house). I come back to being ignored. Sooooooo freaking mature. Mind you, I've been keeping an eye on my BP thru all this nonsense. When they are here, I'm in hypertension stage 1-2, as soon as they leave, back to normal. I will be talking to my MFM and Obgyn about this to see what can be done. Clearly my parents have zero respect for me or my choices. I honestly hope they just leave. I don't need this bullshit. End rant. This is all of 2.5 days. I'm dreading the rest.
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November 2019
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